Why No Offense?!

Why is it really wrong to be offending someone?
If you like something- you like something, If you don’t like it , shotgun out- lock target-”BAAAAM” and it’s done.
Okay that shotgun idea may be a tad bit too violent for the “PG” audience out here.
(Please don’t try this at home, elsewhere its fine. Just don’t tell no one. Blog about it later.)
But here’s the amazing thing about today’s sugar coated mannerisms, when you offend someone you wrap it up with a “no offense meant” garnish, and the novice you handed a uppercut laps it up with a “None taken”.
I am sure the buffaloes on the Expressway just said “Dude! Bullshit still has better qualities, and I m saying this even without the green stuff.”

I don’t expect a 12 round bout every time there is a disagreement but this recyclable- plastic-green-peace loving fake put up must irk the participants once in a while, one fine day all of it will want to come out and then what? They wake up in the middle of the night screaming at the ceiling fan and calling it names , punching the pillow till it breathes back to life, and all of a sudden you miss the Unlike button next to the like on facebook.

This is a problem entangling all of us, we are often surrounded by people we’d like to smash like Hulk and yet we wouldn’t do anything because it’d be uncivilized and inappropriate (Damn!).
The problem is we hardly ever say what we really want to, because we are so bothered by what others think about us and how they will react to what we do.

The problem of the civilized world is it restricts true unbiased opinions. Its a great club of all the ladies and gentlemen who enter, have drinks ,play snooker and poker, Nobody wins, Nobody loses, all brag about their achievements, and then everyone goes home.
( Remember: No one gets hurt)
The world lives in this suffocating smog of mannerisms that stop people from expressing what they really want.

The grand idea is not to hurt someone.( you need to see a shrink if you think that’s the case.)
 But it’s to think and say fearlessly what you really want in life.
If people think that it’s hurtful of you to really express yourself, and you submit to them, it’s obvious that they mean something to you,But if they don’t, you are a coward. ( and I am a judgemental A**, I know it.)

There are some who don’t follow the norms of saying sorry after having spoken their minds and still live on. (Alone,of course. Because the Society is that unforgiving opinionated irrational bitch we all like to feed.)
For the narcissistic few, who feel unheard, who take  a step further in offending mind-sets, they write blogs.

No offense meant.

Booze on mofos. (written in Feb 2012)

My god! its been over 3 months that i didnt write! and now that i am actually writing,my wrist n my fingers are numb,which is a form of hangover,as i tried helping UB Corporation yesterday by having 3 beers(3 as far as i remember,i lose count after my first.).

This whole Fiasco around Kingfisher is not really a surprise, you know, it was bound to happen.This Mallya Guy thought that in a country of drunkards he can run some other business with clarity,and efficiency.But that is what happens, when you swim against the stream. What is the point of running an airline so efficiently for 5 years,taking off on time and apologizing duly to the good customers for the extra salt used in the Bolivian gourmet served?

Customers start yapping snapping and abusing KFA for the mother in law who started a chain reaction by scolding the watchman for sleeping.They should have known that the wrath of the public is the most efficient,yet underused tool this country has.People have contacts in the media,who by the way are too efficient in covering the Haymaker which Agent Vinod pounds on some sorry ass.Why wouldnt they cover the Tears of a Passenger in full HD?

Now to the real problem,KF did all it could,hired models as their hostesses,served good.the pilots handled the auto-pilot efficiently,So why this kolaveri di ? why?


My question is who the F*ck does some real work in the country !?!
who and where is that person who is supposed to innovate!?

My Love for the Formula 1.

Of the smartasses among my friends,everyone seems to be going gaga about an upcoming event - the formula 1,or as it sounds less nerdy and more cool,the F1.Now i don't have any special agenda against motorsports,than the general envy of the common man,who thinks he can afford petrol only by selling his kidney,or the hot grid girls who are ready to throw themselves at the racers, and had said E for engine to graduate from high school.

My problem is i dont understand the general dementia these motor sports fans possess,with respect to speed.

The awestruck faces with respect to the hefty maneuvers also reminds me the general hatred for physics we all had shared where in distance by time was equal to speed,i seem to have gotten over it somehow.But my friends seem to be struggling.So they revise their fundamentals every 2-3 weeks,where in a car worth millions will go around a lap in a circle 60 times,burning way too much fuel than actually should be done.Anyhow,i feel happy because by the time i wake up on a sunday,either Lewis Hamilton has lost a race,which cheers my friends a lot,or there is some freak accident,which is for some reason fun to watch.

These demented people in my country have grown to such a large number that now one billionaire had to finally say,"hey instead of burning my own money by trying to build same old buildings again and again,let me build a track worth millions,and earn another billion of it,and burn it again,the poor will be poor ,what can i do about that..."

And Voila! F1 track is made in the National Cunt Region (NCR) of my country,So rightly selected,I have heard,Delhi-ites are using their "contacts",to get their jija and phupha,mausas aand maasis to sit in the front row and watch them bribe the security to just drive on an F1 track.Obviously,they will keep the windows down,put on the AC,and play punjabi music,(they may play english if they are drunk enough,cos then they pretend to understand it).Why? "Pancho because its F***ing cool Pancho."

I know F1 is weird for a country where people think ambassador is still a car,and Innova is a good car,and people driving these think of themselves driving a car.Recently there was a (indian)critic describing how there was dust on the Delhi track and how it is harmful for the F1 engines,For all the people who didn't know yet,there is a good 300 million dollar "road" under that dust.So drive carefully you racing freaks.Very rarely does a car tyre in India get to see a road anyway.

So I foresee a weekend coming up where in i will wake up,and every dumbass will be feeling proud that its country hosted an F1 race.For which an amount of money was spent,which could be used for donating the needy and poor like me.The smart asses will watch Ra.one.Delhi-ites might do both.

Yes i am finally blogging cos i got nothing better to do.

If you disagree with any of my ideas and actually do post a comment,its very much a possibility that,you are smarter than me,and have nothing better to do either.

but no,Its not the FACEPALM moment yet.

My ideal - " Statement of purpose"

Seriously... man,preparing for MBA exams gives you so much over confidence,that you actually start thinking that you are better than everyone else.

Take for instance the most celebrated authors of my country(present day). They fall for a, mostly,a fictitious bitch for 5 times in 5 different books,its still funny & romantic, best seller material.(fictitious because the bitch apparently starts caring.The only other place that happens is in bollywood or lalaland)

Whereas I have to write a statement of purpose,where in i have to describe myself as ambitious,creative,hard working,ethical,gem of a person, and a good enough reason,that i am choosing to do an MBA in spite of all the above said qualities!and believe it or not,i might have to pay money to write and apply,the idea itself is so awesome(ridiculous)!

Inspiration-

Now lets look at the famous philosopher,whose only achievement was to sit on a corner chair and surround himself with books,ponder on all the questions possible,and say wise things.Then people actually thought he was intelligent!yes,If not anyone else,Socrates the funny guy from Greece,is my role model.His witty one liners circulate all over the internet even today.He always said stuff that no one understood,and somehow he always managed to be the guy who said"i told you so".

my favourite quote from the socrates collection-

As for me,all i know is that i know nothing.

-Socrates(on dope,i guess)

Why MBA?

You see that's what the modern day economist is all about,in the world of cheap broadband internet ,people go to this place they call "office" log on to facebook and gmail,and chat with me all day,and get paid for it!

They all have MBA's or some equivalent huge douche bag degrees,they have apparently read books by the dozen on world economy,to fill their class assignments.

And in the actual world,Whenever asked about a financial forecast,they use terms like,hedge,inflation,moral collateral,equity,public interest,government demand.

It sounds so cool !!Nobody gets it,But when market crashes ,They all say ,I had told you so.

Goals.

Yes I aspire to become a financial consultant to a Mutual Fund company.While you google the the job description,let me tell you,As i promised I am creative,its very unlikely that you find something on it.Or as all other MBA's must have taken the "oath of secrecy",all the text you might find may be insufficient to explain what's being talked about.

I plan to scare a well established MNC,tell them,in the current world they are unsafe,they need to diversify their funds.They will hence need to open a mutual fund house.And i will help the general public feel that the trusted MNC's name is enough to drain all their savings into.

Then I hire an MBA as a risk advisor,and simultaneously invest all the funds into shares/stocks.

For some wild reason like always the American president will come to India,Visit khajuraho,and the Sensex will rise.Everyone will make profits,and my goal shall be accomplished.

Where Do you see yourself in 10 years?

I have this idea of a management college,so far,i am calling it FACEPALM,and it will be the direct competition to PALMFACE (reputed govt. management collg,whose only achievement till date is to be established by the Govt.)

Since the branding is so dynamic,the success is obvious,honest dumb nerds will get confused and fill up the form anyways,i will hire disgruntled lecturers from PALMFACE to teach ethics and competition.

hence,I see myself as a very successful entrepreneur.

So Rock ON turned out to be a good watch...a perfect mix of story and reality barring the last fifteen minutes...well i ll not get into the story, but its for sure that it had quite an impact on me.

I m finally picking up my guitar after 8 months.

But hold on..how do I learn it?...the closest place is like really out of reach, i dont know lets see if i muster up enough courage to do the gruelling 45 minute routine everyday..

and for how long can i do it... but i seriously wanted to learn to play the guitar.. ever since i was 15.

Let's see, i guess i ll have to watch rock on!! again !!

Isnt Engineering Enough?

bole toh.. 16 days after i have the degree in my hands,my future is pretty much still undecided.My degree looks like a testimonial to a lost cause.Looking at the degree i remember all my uncle and aunties giving the unneeded advice after 12th std.. "beta degree ke bina kya karoge?".. now i know they were not taunting me, it must have been a genuine question. Perhaps someone should have asked me"Degree ke baad kya karoge?"...that could hae avoided the confusion to an extent.

Right now I feel like one of the fish from the movie'Finding Nemo'....after all the struggle ,they reach the sea.. but they are still in the plastic packets...one of them says 'Now What?'.

COUNSELLING(when its not required)

 Actually uncle and aunties are not the only blame bearers, .The problem is people in India,even in metros like bambai especially dont consider career counselling,they have this image its only for the ones who go abroad.

"Career counselling..kyun?Amrika jaana hai kya?".Its so because,its expensive.

Its also the schools ...i mean my school wasnt even interested to know whether i was alive or not!....Career counselling seems still a distant dream.

 

But the glamourized combo-Engineering & MS,  is still my greatest enemy..(The Major frustration )and by combo i mean for its something like a mac and fries for the U&A community here.Last week I was at a family gathering,(it was the naming ceremony of a newborn)

and the U&A were in full force,ready for assault....what happened next was obvious,dont have to type out the entire story..

Some memorable lines of that evening...(U:uncle,A:Aunty)

scene 1

U:Beta, what do you do..

me:I ve just completed Marine engineering ,am on a vacation right now..

U:What do you plan to do next?

me:I have come back from a sail,will be  going for another.

U:thats good,dont u plan to do higher studies..?

Aunty breaks in a very high tone to my mother...

A:humaare dono beto ne engineering ki hai... dono ne MS kiya,aur US me well settled hain..

(both my sons have done engineering and are well settled in US)

U(trying to be down to earth,slightly in showing off mode,still down to earth):so do u plan to go for higher studies...?

me:no not yet... havent decided about it..i dont think i would be going ahead for it anytime soon..

A:beta tu ek baar jaayega na toh waapas nahi aayega..u must do it!

me(silent mode): shut up biaaaaaaaaatch!

I sometimes wonder ,like what actually the U&A community thinks ,like do they think of the US as a departmental store,with special in house discounts for MS???or is it that they think they are ordering for lunch at an udipi..

1 rava masala dosa & coffee

1 BE marine  eng.  & MS computer science.

The other day my mom was giving me the lecture (topic:why I should do an MS)that every one has to work hard to be successful, i asked what successful means to her...there was no answer...

"Beta Mehnat toh karni hogi naa..."(Son You will have to work hard...)

I mean why would i work hard..if i am working hard that means the work i am doing doesnt come naturally to me..i am struggling at it, not enjoying it, the work that i am  doing is stressing me out... why should i do it..this is no escapology but my belief is definitely somewhat more like...i should do what i like, it should not stress me unnecessarily, what i do should come to me naturally...to me it makes a lot more sense!

I dont know about the next step i will take but it should be something that i like, rather than doing something that everyone else is doing ...after all i am not 'just for the heck of it' types..i never was.. never will be!

but then why did  i write this all?